These are some of the performances of the show-stopping comedy song “Nothing Can Stop My Boys” from the Off-Broadway musical. 

It is the perfect audition or showcase song for tenors ages 18-25.

CLIFF KEARNS is the theatre nerd who falls desperately in love with the theater diva.

 Lyrics:

WHAT INFORMATION
WHAT REVELATION
I AM A VIRILE MAN
I CANT BELIEVE THIS
I CANT CONCEIVE THIS
WELL, YES, I GUESS I CAN

I HAVE GOT THE BALLS OF YOUNG CLINT EASTWOOD
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGERS POISE
(whispered)
I PRODUCE A CROWD OF SPERM CELLS TOUGH AS
THE DIRTY DOZEN
(growing louder)
NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS
NOT MY BOYS

YOU CAN PUT CONDOMS,
LOTS OF THEM, ON EM
HOPING THEY WONT GET OUT
THEYRE ALL SO HANDY
MY LITTLE MEN DE-
CIPHER THE EXIT ROUTE

MARVEL OUGHT TO BASE A COMIC ON THEM
MAYBE WITH A LINE OF TOYS
ADMIRAL ERECTION AS THEIR LEADER,
SHOUTING OUT PROUDLY,
NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS!

BUT WHAT IF ITS SOMETHING I CANT REPEAT
OR MERELY BEGINNERS LUCK
WAIT! DONT PANIC
DONT GET MANIC
MY BOYS COULD SINK THE TITANIC

IM LIKE A TRAIN NO,
LIKE A VOLCANO
SEEMINGLY STILL AND STAID
THEN WHEN I ERUPT
ILL MAKE YOUR DUTCH CUP
NOT WORTH THE PRICE YOU PAID

IF THE FDA FINDS OUT ABOUT
THESE MISSILES THAT I CAN DEPLOY
THEY MIGHT MAKE ME WEAR A WARNING LABEL:
HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED
NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.
USE AS DIRECTED
NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.
AVAILABLE BY PRESCRIPTION ONLY,
NOT FOR CHILDREN OR PREGNANT MOTHERS,
CAMPAIGNED AGAINST BY SALLY STRUTHERS,
NOTHING CAN STOP MY BOYS.